Monday, May 06, 2013

Game of Thrones, Season 3 Ep 6

R: So they totally made Theon's torturer into Gollum
R: Riddles
R: Manic
J: Agree that whole storyline is tiresome
J: I found this whole episode to be eyerolly
R: Like when Jon snow and Ygritte somehow climbed their way to Jurassic park?
R: Also. Dude who cut them free
R: Maybe like encourage them the last 10 meters
R: Offer your hand. No hard feelings

Stallone would never have cut the rope

J: And the scene where she was coming over the ledge her ice pick wasn't even sunk in.
J: It bounced on the fake ice
R: She also was a bit of a stage 5 clinger
R: We had sex once.  Now you're mine. You’re loyal to me. You don't do that to anyone else.
J: "You won't betray your woman or I'll cut your dick off"
R: Can't decide who looks worse in a dress
R: Brienne or Sansa
J: Sansa
J: I loved that Brienne’s dress was pink
R: Sansa’s new hair thing is not working
R: She needs to consult the face shape haircut guide
R: Or lay off the turkey legs
J: Or Brienne's Miley cyrus?

J: But first thought during that scene was 'the role of Jamie lannister will now be played by viggo morteson'
R: Strider!
R: And slave owner "so the deal is I'm sending you to kings landing where you'll tell your dad I didn't cut off your hand"
R: Ya. Sure.
R: "Do you pinky swear?"
J: 'Even though you don't have a hand'
J: I realized why I'm super in attracted to Jon snow

J: That's my cousin
J: He looks EXACTLY like him
R: Sorry, to clarify. Unattracted? Not attracted?
R: Or are you going Cersei on me?
J: OH! Ahahahahahahahahaaaaa F*CKING AUTOCORRECT
J: 'I see eyes behind your eyes. Brown. Blue. Green. "
J: That like when the fortune teller tells you that you will fall in love with a tall dark or maybe blonde stranger that you might already know

R: She means Arya's going to kill them right
J: I think so
R: So fire witch is now backing the real heir to the throne?
R: Instead of Stannis?
R: Or she's going to kill him?
J: I think he needs to die for Stannis to be king
J: Maybe that's why he failed at his mission
R: Also. I just imagine the Lord of Light to be like the wizard of oz
J: Wizard of oz also played by Peter Dinklange?
J: Did they show the scene when he told Sansa he had to marry her?
R: No
R: You mean when Shae trashed the place then locked herself in the bathroom?
J: I tuned out during Little Fingers speech
J: Which he for sure practiced in front of a mirror for 4 weeks
J: “I’m going to get an Emmy for this episode”
J: Yawn
R: Poor Roz
J: The Joffrey shit is getting out of hand
J: Ya. That's what being able to read gets ya in Kings Landing
R: So we're totally bringing back the term "sword swallower" right
R: It might have been more poignant and dramatic when Lady Olenna broke his pen/quill…
R: Had we not just seen him pick it up from a choice of two.
R: "Yahhhh so I'm still totally writing that Loras is named to the King's Guard"
R: "Now in sharpie because you're a bitch"
J: "I’m gonna write that in your blood now old lady"
R: "I just can't seem to find a vein"
R: "Why are you so shriveled?"
J: "Since your change happened'
R: 60 years ago
R: By the way, putting Loras in the Kings Guard is pretty much jackpot for him
R: Can never marry
J: A lot of swords to swallow
J: Also why is it common knowledge that Joffrey isn't he real king yet no one cares?
R: I think because Daddy Warbucks slash Hitler is backing him
R: Also because I think we're a few years before paternity tests
J: Maury Pauvich would have this shit sorted
R: I don't even want to talk about Robb
R: But I will
R: Isn't his mom his prisoner? Wasn't she tied up recently?
R: Now he's like "Mommy I have a big meeting, can you come with me?"
J: Ya isn't she under arrest????
R: I feel like he's getting off pretty easy with the amish
R: "Say sorry"
R: "Give us your useless uncle. None of this affects you really"
J: I can't believe he had he nerve to guilt his uncle who didn't want to marry someone he also didn't want to marry
J: He also seems to be incapable of buttoning up his shirt anymore
J: Show highlight: Brienne with the fork
R: Totally
R: Kingslayer, maybe cut a bigger piece next time?
R: It was minuscule

R: Just spear it and eat it like a candied apple.
J: That was a lot of effort for an amuse bouche
J: A porksicle
J: Maybe he's manorexic. Brought of by his new disfigurement
R: [Note to self: Invent porksicle. Get food truck. Live off spoils]
R: Reasons Gilly knew Sam was highborn:
R: A) his accent
R: B) he can't make a fire
R: C) his raging obesity
J: Fat hobbit
J: I think the arrowhead the fat hobbit found keeps the white walkers at bay
R: Really??
J: Which is why he didn’t die before
R: Kryptonite?
R: Sting, he found Sting.
J: But I’m not sure how long they’ll be able to pass up that meal
R: It’s like 18 meals
J: They’ll have to take him down like cheetahs on an elephant.

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