Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Game of Thrones: Season 4, Episode 4

J: Brienne and Pod for the win!
R: Omg Dream Team 
R: When Jamie said he hoped he got her measurements right for the armour….
R: So 38-38-38?
J: I basically jumpy clapped when he said I have one more gift for you
J: He measured himself and added 6"

J: I thought they transitioned nicely from incest rape to child molestation
R: Oh you mean Tommen?
R: Who sleeps Where the Wild Things Are?

Indoor/Outdoor King's room does not seem that safe 

J: Literally "Ser Pounce"
R: I was more disturbed by the cat then the overall message
J: "Oh hello pussy" yes. We get it. No need to spell it out.
R: Tommen could also be played by Miley Cyrus
R Maybe because he was in a white bed which reminds me of all her hospital selfies
R: (Safeword)

J: I also raged. No sympathy if you're still able to be vain
J: Is he 8?
J: Tommen is pretty like a girl

R: Peter pan
J: Either way, that scene was also ripped from a law and order SVU episode
R: How did she actually get into the room.
R: Like bribe? Secretpassageway? Seduce guard?
J: Invisibility cloak, obv.
J: They totally used the set from Gondor to film Mereen, huh?

R: The grate too, from Helms Deep
J: And speaking of borrowed sets, the place where the white walker muppet took the (cute) baby was totally From Superman 2
J: Where superman lives
J: The fortress of solitude

R: Lesson in parenting
R: Placing my naked baby on ice will make it cry
R: Like swaddle that thing!
J: I was excited to see what they did with the baby. Ate it? Sacrificed it? Baby stew? I was disappointed that they just made a baby muppet.

J: I wasn't sure of the crying would make you spontaneously lactate
R: I feel like Bran and the gang approached Craster's keep really recklessly
R: Like kids on the Sandlot movie peeping over the fence

J: Totally!!!! Um, your dire wolf was only trapped because you young stupid child took over its brain 
R: And when that perv was creeping on the girl with dark curls
R: I was like literally her and bran look the same
R: How can you tell who is who
J: The one that never stands

They spent all the budget on make-up artists; had to settle for bulk wigs

R: But what's going on with her brother
R: As we suspected. Drug addicts?
R: Jonesing?
J: I thought was warging
J: But obviously OD'd on milk of the poppy (whispers: heroin)

R: But like an epic extended warg?
J: Maybe a really intense one? Warging into a person instead of an animal?
J: Also all those girls at Craster's look like Gilley

R: Because
R: They
R: Are
R: Sisters

J: (I know they're all related)
J: I didn't realize that til I was literally done typing
R: I thought Grey Worm was using a ouiji board at the beginning
J: a prototype keyboard

J: For his ESL training?
R: Why did they have to dress as fake slaves if they took a secret way into the city
R: And didn't they throw all those slave necklaces away
R: Holes in the story, Khaleesi!
J: The original drag queens
J: An drone dropped more off

J: And DIY crucifixion kits
R: Speaking of necklaces, why did Littlefinger need to re-explain it to Sansa
R: After he smashed it last time
R: Also I feel like we need poison necklaces
R: All the rage
R: Claire's?
J:  Maybe people complained and didn't catch the subtle admission of guilt the first time
J: Claire's will totally come out with a GOT line

R: So they are heading to the aerie and so are The Hound/Arya
J: I feel like they are way over explaining who murdered Joffrey
R: He's going to marry the weird breastfeeding aunt
J: Ewwww I still see that image from season 2
J: Blarf
J: I mean, unless that's your plan for your baby, in which case, cool!

R: Yes. I'll wean him at age 12
R: In time for baseball tryouts
R: Why was there so much hay in Tyrion's cell
R: Like kinda scattered
R: But not enough to lay on
R: And also no horses around
R: Gratuitous hay. Just bugged me
J: For atmosphere
R: Early interior decor
J: The set designer probably works at pottery barn
J: More throw cushions!

R: His post he was chained to was reclaimed Ent wood
J: That's like desecration of a tree corpse
R: Sooo Locke the guy who showed up at the wall is the guy who works for Roose Bolton right?
R: Who cut off kingslayer's hand?
R: How did he get there so fast? I feel like everyone has been traveling for 5 years
R: And he just is like, at the wall. Integrated with the night's watch.
J: He is!
J: I thought that was weird?
J: Why is he at the wall?

R: I think to find Bran?
J: His story is obviously a lie (about stealing food for him family)
R: Remember when Ramsay Snow told his dad the Stark boys were alive?
R: And they deduced that they'd go to find Jon snow

R: Aka: Jerry Maguire
R: I'm going to Craster's Keep! Who is going with me??
R: 5 people? Great
J: It's only 60 miles of treacherous land rife with cannibals, undead muppets and freezing cold ice storms

R: I repeat. Where is rikkon
J: Is he with the bed head wildling?
R: Riiight - Tonks!!!
J: I don't remember why they split though
R: So what do you think of Khaleesi crucifying all the masters
R: Did we ever find out why they killed the kids?
J: I was okay with it. I'm okay with controlled vigilante justice
J: For child killers
J: I think they did it to assert control over the slaves

R: I see
R: Bad situation
R: So. Back to where we started Brienne and Pod: there and back again
R: Thoughts?
R: I think Oathkeeper's a stupid name
J: I exclaimed "Pod!" When they cut to him
J: It's awful
J: I hate the word oath
J: It sounds like an insult
J: Only proper name for a sword is sting
J: I think her mission is dumb

R: So did he send them away because he's scared Cersei will order the stark girl's killed
R: Or because she reminded him of his promise
J: (She's on a boat...they're on land)
R: Or because he wants to get Brienne and pod to safety?
J: I think he also sent her away because he think Cercei is nuts and she might have Brienne killed
R: They don't know she's on a boat though
R: Ok yes. On same page
J: All of the scene at Craster's made me uncomfortable
R: Yes. That guy Is insane
J: From the point the guy was drinking original Crystal skull vodka to the end.
J: Me no likey

R: HA! Crystal Skull. 

R: Hamlet
J: In conclusion: I thoroughly enjoyed Braun and Jamie, Jamie and Brienne, Jamie and Tyrion (I feel like he's gonna bust him out of jail/barn?) and Brienne and pod. hound was missed. Crasters was too much. I hope they wolves get out.

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